Not sure where to stand

[Sparkls]

Considering mine is still completely wrapped in a fog, I doubt it'll be me. I'm still struggling with what I"m fighting for. I don't want this guy. Am I deluded myself that he can be someone different?
I'm definitely making small changes in myself. And I like them but I also just want someone to notice and say "Hey, good job!". But all of my friends are a little too wrapped up in their own lives so all of my GAL is solo activities (which is fine, I don't mind being alone).
I guess I'm just not very good at being patient. I have to give him real time to live with the consequences of his actions. Really the first week was a countdown to his trip and then his trip. He's only been back a day. Now he has to really start addressing what he's going to do with his life.