After turning round like a headless chicken I have started to read quotes about feeing good. Just google them and never realised that there were so many! Well it did me a world of good as I was happy the whole day.
Started to dread STBXH visit. It didn't go as bad as I thought. He was very cold to start with and won't look me in the eyes. He asked me if he could borrow some pots plants. I told him they were his as well so he could do what he wanted. He started to tell me what his plan were with pots. I listened and ask questions when appropriate, then said he wanted to discuss furniture, I said that we could do it when kids are in bed as I had a lot to do and I also wanted him to spend quality time with their dad. This conversation never happens! I also didn't gave any expectation so I was fine.
I did all I wanted to do and instead of staying in my room, I went to sit down with kids and him! Eldest said family time, I did to challenge her nor did he. He quickly read them a short story and left very quickly.
Regarding his quality time, they watched TV and he was asleep! I told him a joke about me forgetting to give youngest her money for her tooth! He smiled.
I looked at him and I didn't like what I saw. He looked dreadful! Not shaved, put weight on on his face, very tired and hardly looked at me. Whereas I felt pretty in my jeans and top!
The good thing is that I didn't feel sad nor happy, just fine! Weird but nice to get off this roller-coaster!
