Unfortunately our sons spring break weeks don't match up this year (one in HS and one in MS). So, he asked me one time what we will do when we split up the time - i.e. if one of us takes one of the boys away, what happens with the other one? My response was: let's divide up the time, propose our plans and then go from there. It is very complicated because there are 3 weeks of vacation between the 2 boys and NONE of the time overlaps. I divided the time 50/50 and gave each of us 2 weekends with both boys (thinking he'd want to spend time with both of them and fly the other one home). When he emailed me today, I thought he was proposing what he wanted to do on his weekend with the boys. I thought I was doing a great thing by finding a solution. All he had to do was arrange transportation. Unfortunately, he thought I didn't address it but it is so complicated we really couldn't until we had plans better mapped out. But, he is also very used to me accommodating all of his plans. This is unusual that I said I wouldn't change my plans or that I put my plans before the kids....
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
Yeah you not changing your plans seems like the best part! Talk about a 180. You used to sit at home and wait or immediately discard your plans. Now you are sticking with the plans and holding him accountable. I am sure he can not help but wander what you are up to. It is probably killing him.
The other great thing as others have pointed out, you did not allow it to escalate. That is something I need a lot of work on.
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Thanks you for the feedback - you guys are awesome. Truly I wish I could hug you all.
I am thinking about responding:
I think differently, but I can understand your reasons for feeling that way. I am sure the two of us can figure this out. I am confident that we can make plans where everyone can do what they want and enjoy their Spring Breaks.
Thoughts?
Thank you thank you!
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
Wow you should have written this post last Thursday and I could have read it and not had the horrible Friday I did!!!! Sounds good, only wish I could have stole this wording from you sooner...
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Don't be too impressed - I am using the validation cheat sheet that Wonka wrote :-)!
I only wish I could engrain it into my head. Texting is much better than in person. I swear your W sent her "short fuse" to my H. He is usually the calm, controlled one. Kind of nice to switch roles for a minute. And, he NEVER changes his plans for me or the kids.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
