I think there are plenty of monogomous men who are HD.
In fact, I think the fact that you are so hung up on monogamy is a huge factor in why you ended up with and LD man. We, as HD females, consciously seek out men we can either dominate or make us feel safe. Then years down the road when the safeness has turned to boredom, we are disappointed and angry.
I know this might sound crazy, but believe me, I have really examined what MY role is in all this. I realize that I chose H for a lot of the reasons that I now detest. I liked it that he was wowed by my sexuality; I liked it that I never had to worry that he was looking at other women--I was and am the only female in his life. I liked it that he did not overwhelm me with his sexuality, we seemed to be matched, and I never felt that he was pressuring me for more.
Do you see what I am getting at? We get what we choose. We just couldn't see it at the time. I couldn't see that H's libido would die down and his not overwhelming me would turn into me being the primary one wanting sex. And I couldn't see that him not looking at other women would turn into him having no desire to look at ME either.
I would know this next time, but I can honestly say that I don't know if the alternative would appeal to me either.
If I knew that I could have an HD man but I would have to deal with him looking at other women or just having this HUGE appetite for sex that I felt I couldn't accomodate, how would that make me feel? (I'll tell ya, right now it sounds pretty damn good, lol, but I'm talking in the long term)
I think we search out what makes us feel comfortable. I think that if the HD guys were brutally honest with themselves they would see that they, too, chose women with tendencies to become LD. Now, I know that all of us were HD in the early parts of our relationships and it truly is so hard to determine if this is a person's true libido or the emotion fueling it. But if these guys are honest with themselves they might say that having a woman being demanding of sex...and being expected to perform..well, something about that is intimidating. And so they tended to look for women whose qualities indicated that they would always be "enough" for them.
I'm not saying it's the HD's person's fault--I'm just saying that to avoid this situation in the future would require you to go for a type of man who is probably not your "type".
