Im telling you Im a HD man who is monogomous. I don't want to be having sex with other women because I know that won't work out for me. I love my W but without the sex/emotional connection it can be very diffecult. So far I have been monogomous<sp>. I think they are out there. You just have to look.
I think there are plenty of monogomous men who are HD.
In fact, I think the fact that you are so hung up on monogamy is a huge factor in why you ended up with and LD man. We, as HD females, consciously seek out men we can either dominate or make us feel safe. Then years down the road when the safeness has turned to boredom, we are disappointed and angry.
I know this might sound crazy, but believe me, I have really examined what MY role is in all this. I realize that I chose H for a lot of the reasons that I now detest. I liked it that he was wowed by my sexuality; I liked it that I never had to worry that he was looking at other women--I was and am the only female in his life. I liked it that he did not overwhelm me with his sexuality, we seemed to be matched, and I never felt that he was pressuring me for more.
Do you see what I am getting at? We get what we choose. We just couldn't see it at the time. I couldn't see that H's libido would die down and his not overwhelming me would turn into me being the primary one wanting sex. And I couldn't see that him not looking at other women would turn into him having no desire to look at ME either.
I would know this next time, but I can honestly say that I don't know if the alternative would appeal to me either.
If I knew that I could have an HD man but I would have to deal with him looking at other women or just having this HUGE appetite for sex that I felt I couldn't accomodate, how would that make me feel? (I'll tell ya, right now it sounds pretty damn good, lol, but I'm talking in the long term)
I think we search out what makes us feel comfortable. I think that if the HD guys were brutally honest with themselves they would see that they, too, chose women with tendencies to become LD. Now, I know that all of us were HD in the early parts of our relationships and it truly is so hard to determine if this is a person's true libido or the emotion fueling it. But if these guys are honest with themselves they might say that having a woman being demanding of sex...and being expected to perform..well, something about that is intimidating. And so they tended to look for women whose qualities indicated that they would always be "enough" for them.
I'm not saying it's the HD's person's fault--I'm just saying that to avoid this situation in the future would require you to go for a type of man who is probably not your "type".
Found this stat on a web site. Honestly, I have known many men to cheat, and it almost always is due to their wives being LD. Men want LOVERS in their lives, and most will not cheat on you if you are their lover. If you are having fun inside and outside of the bedroom on an almost daily basis, the odds are good he will be faithful. Their are TONS of HD guys wanting a HD girl!!
Please tell me how to identify these tendencies of women to become LD? When I met my wife, we made love EVERYDAY. She initiated it. She touched me. She loved to make out. She loved to give BJ's. and then after 4 years, she became ND. I truly thought I was marrying a sexual women. It was the MAJOR factor in determining that I wanted to marry her. She is now the opposite of HD. Since I will have to probably divorce her in the future, how can a guy readily identify the LD women of the world so that we can avoid them and not waste our time on them.
You keep nailing it. An HD woman would be hard to keep up with. My former business parter was dating a female friend of mine. I knew she was pretty wild and told my partner that it must have been fun. He said it wasn't because as soon as they would orgasm together, she would pull out a vibrator to finish herself off one more time and that it made him feel like sh!t.
I dated a girl who was HD (just talked with her recently and at 35, she says that she and her H have sex every day). Once when we were having sex, she got on top of me and just started f'kin the bajeezus out of me. I could see that her entire mission was to have an O. It didn't matter whose d!ck it was inside her. She wasn't looking into my eyes. She was in another place. All of a sudden I lost the connection too. I'm looking around the room, reading titles of the books while she wailing on me. Nearly lost the erection but she eventually got her big O. If this was something I had to do every day, I would be very bored. I wonder if her H is bored?
Thanks for the good post. You are right. We are attracted to those who seem safe. I fell for my W after a long R with a psychotic college girlfriend who would bust my chops for spending time with friends even after she gave me permission to spend time with them. My W would let me do anything I wanted to with my friends and not complain about it. I should have seen that as a lack of "passion" instead of a benefit.
Thanks honeypot.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
Quote --------------- She wasn't looking into my eyes. She was in another place. All of a sudden I lost the connection too. I'm looking around the room, reading titles of the books while she wailing on me. Nearly lost the erection but she eventually got her big O. If this was something I had to do every day, I would be very bored. -----------------
You would not be so bored if you were in love with that woman.
I guess maybe I am an exception to all your points. I got married after I had run around a bunch of times with other women, all while living with my now wife. She got feed up with all my cavorting, and did a friend of mine. All that was prior to our marriage, but during our relationship. It did leave some baggage to deal with later on.
As for HD vs HD, that worked well enough. I had a long relationship with a HD girlfriend who rivaled my sex drive. We quickly realized that we would drive each other into an early grave if we didn't regulate our lovemaking. So, we settled into a once or twice a day routine - mornings and night before bed. If we had spare time, we would sometimes do more. Having said that, we were both young (19/20) and had a lot of spare time and energy. Eventually our relationship waned, but it was over drug abuse issues, not sex.
So, it is possible for two HD'rs to go at it successfully, but it leaves less time for other endeavors :-) The other thing I learned was that mutual respect is paramount to success. It is a foul to get off at your partner's expense without mutual consent. That translates to not ignoring your partner during the act (no staring off into space).
There is my $.02 worth. -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
I don't think you can identify them as single women. The married ones are easy to spot but it would require some pretty serious charm to stay with them through their D and then form a permanent relationship with them.
I'm sure they're out there but the ones with obvious signs of HD within the first couple of dates will probably have other issues that you would run from. No woman is going to advertise that she is HD except on adultfriendfinder.com. In that case, you will see them requesting girth sizes and tantric abilities to go for hours to please them. No, I think it's more easy to take a normal woman and set the expectations in the very beginning than to find someone HD. I would just look for a woman with a little bit of passion, a slight tendency to be jealous, and who doesn't seem to care about looking like the rest of the women. A non-conformist woman is a sexy woman in my book.
The problem is that to put all these variables in place, you are basically narrowing the choices down to a 1 or 2 women out of 10000 and you will need some good "game" to catch and maintain.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
