Have you given any thought that your h might resent your son? He sees you as a loving mother who will fight for her son and the relationship that you and your son have isn't what your h had w/his mother. Most parents don't raise such issues about their children. It's more about what they refuse to eat or going to bed. I can't help but wonder if there is more to his projection than meets the eye. Maybe he heard this stuff from his own mother growing up.
Just my two cents.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
