Gosh, sounds like projection and mommy dearest has been on the war path and your h is taking it out on you.
What's wrong w/taking showers? If your son prefers to shower, then there isn't a problem. Does your h take showers? If so, what's the big deal here? As far as your h is concerned...he doesn't know what you are doing w/your son in your own home. I'm sorry, but I would have had to give him one of Cali's smoothies and say STFU. LOL!
Mleigh, don't listen to him. He's angry because mommy dearest is on his @ss about your son. If mommy dearest was happy, he would be too. So, tell me how showers, changing into jammies or the length of his hair have anything to do w/his future? I would think your h would be more concerned about your son's grades and studies and his interactions w/his peers. People in today's society are wearing man buns, long hair, body piercings and tattoos to work and it's not affecting their level of production. The next time he rants, have him explain to you how his type of bathing and the length of his hair have anything to do w/his studies and grades. I would love to hear his answer.
I think it would be a wonderful idea if you could get him into a parenting class w/you...but leave mommy dearest in the closet. She's back in the 30's and 40's and not w/the latest generation and what or how they operate. Also, she needs to learn what boundaries are and also learn to respect your decisions about your son.
I'm so sorry you are having to deal w/this...but it really took on a life of it's own when you told her not to cut your son's hair again.
Stand your ground. If you don't, mommy dearest and h will have him so that he won't learn how to make his own decisions and be happy w/them. The next time he rants, advise him that you will not discuss anything more about your son's bathing habits, dressing for bed or the length of his hair until the both of you are attending a parenting class or seeing a counselor on how to co-parent successfully.
Gosh, it's not my situation, but I could definitely throttle your h and mommy dearest and take great pleasure in doing so.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
