In House S (7)

[vise82]

Hey,

Yesterday I had a good time with my two GAL activities, dog training and soccer. Starting to feel more comfortable going and I find it easier to talk to people now that I see them regularly.

Dog training is ending next week so not sure what to do after that.

Soccer is winding up also but there is a summer program that I could play in. I have been having a hard time fitting in there. Didn't really make any close friends. A couple of the guys I try to talk to. I don't know why its so hard for me socially. There is one thing everyone else shows up dressed and changes there shoes on the field. I show up early and use the change rooms to get ready, then after the game I try to stick around but it back to the change room and most people just change their shoes and go.

This is something I have to live with. I am quiet, its hurting me at my job and my marriage. this something that I don't know if I can change.

So this morning my W was up and she said good morning to me. That's a change. I said good bye to the kids and her and left.

On a note, last night I came home from soccer talk to W a bit about the showings and then went to the separate par t of the house. I could hear her phone making the ping sound of text messages one after another. It was driving me crazy. So I went to the basement so I couldn't here the messages.

So its like this: she stays in , when she goes out rarely its with her mom or to her parents house, we have been doing things as a family, she has not been going across the street to see that neighbor for months now. She is not on her phone constantly texting and she doesn't sleep with the phone, She leaves it out down stairs. I have checked it once in a while but she does delete texts, so that's why I don't bother she cleans it of anything she doesn't want me to read.

She keeps her Ipad next to her bed. She leaves that around though also I am sure she deletes Facebook messages or I messenger stuff.

So my thoughts are what is she waiting for If she doesn't want me? Where are the other guys that she wants? Is she waiting until the S is signed then they will come out of the wood work?

It just seems we spend so much time together right now, how is it going to be when we are in separate houses? What is she going to do with her time and why does she think this will be so much better apart? I guess I will have to wait till then to find out. I enjoy the family time together. I am sure she does too??