I have a 45 minute drive to work and it gives me a lot of time to think. I often wonder if there was anything at all I could have done to save my relationship. Even if I was perfect, I honestly don't know if W would have stayed.
I look at her history from an outsiders point of view and try to think objectively. She has had over 30 jobs. Moved to different states multiple times. Had lots of 1-2 year relationships. An issue with alcohol. Never been engaged. Has dated abusive men. Has an unhealthy codependent relationship with her mother. She also seems to run anytime things start to get serious.
Am I calling her a bad person? No. But I'm wondering if she's just not capable of having a healthy sustained long term relationship. I also wonder if I am being naive by hoping we could one day work things out.
W is a very loving person and a good mother. But she also has a dark side to her. She can be irritable. She stresses very easily. And when she's angry, she can quickly escalate.
Please understand, I am not saying that I have no faults. I do, lots of them. But I was ALWAYS willing to compromise, apologize when I was wrong, put the work in to make things better, and try to change.
I'm starting to honestly think that once W moves all of her stuff out of our new house, that I will never hear from her again. And that breaks my heart. It also breaks my heart for her D8. She became my daughter. And I loved spending time with her and teaching her things.
