Hi Jguy. I find it hard to post to you knowing that you seem to look for offence where there really isn't any If you read Sottos post to you , she states how's it her humble opinion because when you r not agreed with or validated it seems to take it as an attack on you and we have to stress that it's not
I had to change how I normally post when posting to you and choose language that I would not normally use on here because I see your a decent guy that appears to be looking for any answer and a quick solution to your M and you are unusual in how you handle advice / criticism in your sitch
This OW , to me , lacks some moral compass that she would involve herself in your life while a M is in trouble Her actions of wanting to speak to W and warning you that you must both be careful sound like very controlling and manipulative This OW placed herself in your life and that's not a healthy or friendly thing to do for where you are right now.
If you read Atpeaces thread , a poster called PP likened Atpeaces denial to seek legal help. (after getting advice from several posters to do so ) to a drunk driver who thinks he knows best and is about to drive home At peace or the drunk driver won't listen
This is your life and the decisions you make will never affect me but I've felt your pain and hope to help point out some things that you appear unable to see
Your in very hard sitch and from the outside you appear to be running full speed in all directions because your lost. I could be wrong and your R with OW is fine and you have it under control.
Your interactions with IC and the Shaman were at completel odds with each other yet when I pointed this out you ignored it because it didn't suit you or you didn't agree but I was going on your info so I can't see how you wouldn't agree
My point in all this is , the advice myself and others give comes from what we have e experienced and seen on this board. You are free you take on board the advice or go about things your way.
I thought your admission recently that once you started to GAL and care less about the outcome of the M and more about you , as advised from day one on your thread ,was very mature and showed that you were maybe seening that some advice on here that you argued with at the start , you could now see was some what right.
My pointing out your repetitive use of the word integrity came across ( to me ) as someone trying to convince themselves more than anyone else If you feel you acted with integrity then that's what matters. I wouldn't agree and feel that while your in this sitch , integrity would be working on yourself while standing for your M and not getting into an other R that may hamper this I truly don't feel that you not letting the R with OW progress romantically is acting with integrity but to me it's just acting normally and maybe that's where we differ
If you read through your posts from day 1 there is lot of grand statements regarding yourself and while I don't think this is completely wrong it does make me feel your lacking in some self worth ( as am I re insecurities in Rs ) and this I feel makes you look for validation where others might not need it
Again Jguy , all I want is for Jguy to get through this and become the best Jguy possible
Re your W wanting to reconcile , I would let actions speak louder than words She has flipped back and forth several times already and I would urge caution
Please read the above as its intended , this is not to criticise you , it's my attempt to point out how a neutral outsider takes the info you supply and processes it
Stop looking for answers or solutions for the moment. Relax back , work on you in a healthy , structured ( I/C) way and GAL (. Have fun )
Whatever you decide I truly wish it works for you.
