Wife has filed for divorce

[daybyday]

Excile, I have read your sitch. I am in same boat. Read my sitch if you get time. W said she was done and wanted D. We are still in same house but she agreed to separate. At first she said that a separation would just prolong the inevitable. Now she says she is unsure of how she will feel in future. As Sandi has told me, it could be her way of easing me into divorce. It could be. It might not be. I have no control of her feelings.

I am back here for the second time also. Our sitch's have many parallels. The way you describe how you would interact with wife when she would cry, or yell. I have come to the conclusion that 180's are good to a point, but until we are separated I dont think anything gets resolve. In house with our W is rough. For the same reasons as you, I keep getting suck back to her like a drug as you have said. I have been GAL and she has been more curious lately but is still excited to be moving out. That feels like a knife in the gut everytime she brings up furniture for her place or whatever.

Your W is hurting and therefore feels this way. As was said before, feelings change. We all want it fixed NOW and that just wont happen. I also told wife that I dont want to be her friend, I want to be her H, but I understand that if thats all you have with her right now that you would cling to that as I do. One key word that all the good veterans on here is DETACH. I struggle too because I seem to sulk also. It's a fine line. Some days really stink. Perhaps if they see some sustained change they may view us differently. Perhaps after we change it will be us who view them differently?