Broke. I am so glad you are getting out and having a great time. It feels awesome to live for yourself. And become a better person for yourself and your kids.
I find myself in the same state as you when thinking about reconciliation. I don't want to give up hope but I also Am skeptical at this point. I guess we try to let it go and live our lives?
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
It was a great day golfing on 2/28 in the Midwest! I am not very good (yet!) but the sun and company was outstanding. And, both of my sons enjoy golfing, so I look forward to doing it with them. I hope you enjoyed your weekend of wakeboarding, too!
It is really hard to believe that with all the mistakes I made doing the opposite of db'ing in the beginning, H moving out, having an A, filing for D, buying a house and telling the boys that we are proceeding with the D that there is any hope really at this point. The funny part is I would love to be able to give up hope because I am so tired of hanging on to hope. But, I am just not ready to give up....7 months of this (not trying) for a 25-year relationship and a family just doesn't seem right. So, I agree with you, I am living my life and trying to let go at the same time. It seems to be my only option until I can move toward acceptance that my M really is over.
Unfortunately, I was planning on being out of the house when H picked up the kids this afternoon, but the kids asked him to pick them up later. I was in the bathroom getting ready to go out to dinner when he arrived, so he let himself in (this is unusual but the boys were not ready because I wasn't there to push them to get out the door). I had to bring the dog downstairs for him to take to his house and we made small talk about golfing in the wind and the boys. Again, this feels like him trying to build a friendship, which I am trying to avoid! So, I was civil to him then went back upstairs to get S15 to get them out of the house and stop the chatting. Again, because I don't want to be FRIENDS. So hard to walk this line. I am a little frustrated with myself that I didn't stick to my boundary as well as I could have. I am really going to have to get better about not being his "friend". Only good part is that I looked great and he knows I was headed out for the evening.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
I am a little frustrated with myself this afternoon. I got involved in some small talk with my H when he picked up the kids. I should've taken a harder stance with my boundary. The kids should've been ready to go on time and I should've walked away sooner when the chitchat started. I am learning - in the future, if I know there's a chance I may have to communicate with him, I will reread my boundaries to ensure I am better prepared.
I appreciate you checking in. I hope all is well with you V!
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
Thank you. You are always so positive, Thornton. I have to admit that I am not sure he really cared. Or, at least, he has a really good poker face. I hope you got to your workout today!
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
I don't necessarily think small talk is bad. As long as it's not initiated, pursuing or about relationship you are fine. He is seeing you passionate about a sport and as a friendly person.
I think I mentioned my DB coach says it's necessary to have a friendship at the very least it's better for the kids.. I see what she is saying, but I also had so much anger at husband for leaving, I didn't wNt him to think we could be friends. Also I took his invitations to go on family trips as more then he did.
I don't necessarily think small talk is bad. As long as it's not initiated, pursuing or about relationship you are fine. He is seeing you passionate about a sport and as a friendly person.
I think I mentioned my DB coach says it's necessary to have a friendship at the very least it's better for the kids.. I see what she is saying, but I also had so much anger at husband for leaving, I didn't wNt him to think we could be friends. Also I took his invitations to go on family trips as more then he did.
Anyway glad that your doing well with GAL
Red is being abused, friendship really isn't appropriate in abuse sitches.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
V - I am not sure about a bolt on the door. Since both of us are still on the mortgage for this home, I will have to ask the L. Thanks for saying boundaries take practice....I definitely need to reread them before any interactions I know will happen with him in the future. I want to be sure he understands that I do not have any desire to be his friend. Civil co-parents - yes, some small talk - yes, best friends forever - not a chance while he is having an affair.
I did wait several hours to respond to a trivial text tonight. And, I only responded factually. It was short and to the point. So, that boundary has been solid.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
