Need help. Threading water, must learn to swim.

[G8r]

Hi Trumpet. I have shared your up and downs. I was excited for you when your W appeared to want to R and now I feel sorrow for the turn towards D in your relationship. I still have hope for you.

Regarding your question, there have been things said and unsaid. When my WW 1st told me about the om, she said she would have been willing to work on us if he wasn't in the picture. A few weeks ago she said she didn't want a divorce and then she added that it was because she was afraid of the way I drive and she thought I might injure D3 with my driving (I've never had an accident that was my fault nor have I been involved in any big accidents, WW can't say the same to either of those claims). WW also is upset about me not inviting her to circus with D3 even though she invited me and got a ticket for me before selling them because she and D3 were sick that day. I mentioned something about her wanting the D and she said she never wanted a D but she has no hope. I'm kicking myself for that one because I missed a great chance to validate her feelings. In fact, she mentions something similar each time I remind her that she is the one that wants a D and I will not take ownership of wanting a D.

I also have heard from my in laws that she still loves me but doesn't think things will work between us. Similarly, our day care provider doesn't believe she wants a D. She believes she feels stuck and her pride won't let her back away from this course of action. I also see it in her. She looks and feels like crap. She claims to be happy but she looks hurt and miserable everyday. Her A is taking a toll on her physical health. I never have seen her get as sick as regularly as she has the past 6 months. She has regular migraines and sinus problems. She has had a low grade ear infection that she has been complaining about for 2 months. She seems to catch a cold every other week and she claims to have the same symptoms as D3 any time D3 isn't feeling well.

Although my WW has always struggled with her weight and dieting (I've always known she will never be a size 16 and I am ok with that) she has completely let her weight go. Cookies, cake and chocolate hage become a regular staple of her diet. Part of our initial problem is that my WW has never really believed that I'm attracted to her because of by her weight. I would never have dated her let alone ask her to marry me if that was the case. Although I've always been supportive of her dieting, I've never encouraged her to diet.

Lastly, I just have a gut feeling. My only worry is that she won't be interested in possible R until after D. That will be too late. I plan to move forward with my life without her in it at that point. I guess both my WW and I are both stubborn and want things done are way. That reminds me, I need to work on my pride.