Some MLCers will get over their butterflies, but it takes them a long time to feel comfortable in their own skin once they wake up from their deep MLC sleep. They will test you to see if you revert back to your old self. They will ask if you want them to go away and leave you alone. For those who come home, they will ask every time something doesn't set right if you want them to leave. Once they wake up it takes a good 18-24 months for them to actually feel comfortable in their own skin again, give or take a few months. This is the time whereby the LBS gets very impatient and frustrated and wants everything back to normal. The relationship can't go back to the way it was...it has to be a new marriage and whatever changes you've made have to be permanent or it won't work.
They fear going back to the way things were. That is why is it very important to take things very slowly, allow them to see that your changes are permanent and that you accept them for who they are. You have to start at ground zero, which is friends and allow that to simmer for a while before going to the next step. In other words, no expectations of what he use to be or what he can do right now. You have to continue allowing them to bake and come to you.
I would suggest that you just be your new and improved self. Jumping through hopes or selling yourself shows that you are trying too hard. The more you are yourself, the more he'll come to you. I know that you are frustrated and want to know where his mind is at...but he's still baking up and he is moving at his own speed...SLOW.
Lou, this is the hardest part of the journey for the LBS because we see some improvement and want to rush the process. You can't. You have to have faith that he'll make the right decisions and will return to you. While he's baking, continue to live your life, do the things that you want to do and if he wants to join you in some of those things, by all means allow him to do so, if you feel comfortable w/that. But, for now, he's still not ready to recommit and he's still got some baking up to do before he finally is free of his fears.
I know I say this quite often...but you've got to keep the focus on you and your health. God will take care of your h.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
