I know he was with her, not his friends by 100% certainty. I'm doing DB the wrong way, one of STBHX was that I didn't look after myself, this one is well sorted! One was that I was negative (still in progress), and one was that I was cold to him. Going dark/ NC has made the situation even worse as he now drops the kids at the door and wouldn't engage in any conversations. I guess I have to be friendly with him but still move on with my life.

So I sent him a message asking him if he wanted to come back to the house, read the girls a story and put them to bed. I don't know why I did it. The girls are not bothered if they are told a story or not! I did it because I want to see him, I want to repair my mariage and that NC/dark is doing the opposite of what I want. I'm doing it wrong? I think BD is try something and if it doesn't work try something else.
What has prompted me to do it: I was talking to IC and the bunches of flowers from the girls for VD ( as we haven't done anything for the last 8 years), the fact that he still came round to sort out a problem I had ( he didn't have to do it), also when I sent him messages they are read within 30 minutes whereas before he would take him a couple of hours. I rang him last night because youngest kid was upset and he picked phone straight away. He never done that since we are separated!

Also he has introduced OW to his teenager daughter but not ours! My step daughter was introduced to her about Sep/Oct last year but not since then. I do believe that if he was in love with OW he'd have introduced her to ours kids like he did with me with his first daughter ( 6 months into the relationship), also if he really wanted to be with her he'd have filed for D. I'm still expecting it though, but I know him and if he really wants something he'll do it no matter what.

Also him buying a house that it's far from OW (and me too), but close to one of his sister (who things he is a fool to leave me), and a friend who is for standing up for mariage is good for me to see that it might be my last chance to save my marriage. His friend's wife is a foreigner like me and she goes away the same number of weeks as me, so maybe my STBXH will see that we need to see our family.

I want to believe that he needs to be shown the path back and that that's what I'm doing it. I'm not expecting anything. I consider this as my very last chance to save my marriage and if it doesn't work, then I will be able to turn round and say that I have done everything I could to repair my marriage and I will proudly walk away from it with dignity and keeping my head high.