Hi Jguy , this post is going to be seen by you as criticism so read on fore warned.
We've discussed intelligence on here before and I'm going to state that I do believe you are NOT stupid Most posts on here can often be broken down to core themes , people looking for hope , people angry , sometimes people failing to see the obvious in their sitch re OW or OM I myself wanted people to tell me that OM was not serious and W would be back and a lot of my posts reflected this
Your posts have a similar theme where you seem to want validation regardless of what you do You use the word integrity though out your posts again as if your trying to convince yourself by repeating the word over and over.
Your friendship with OW is born from a place where your emotionally unstable due to your Ws affairs You flip from wanting M to not wanting M and I completely understand but you have never given yourself a chance to relax back. You go to ICs , to Shamans, to a OW , to friends , etc
Your W is of course pleased about OW because it justifies her actions and possibly leaves the door open for her and OM. Read Sandis post about WWs , it's not uncommon for Ws to want their Hs to move forward with a new R
Jguy , I get the feeling your very lost and looking for any path that makes you feel better in the short term. Of course having someone attracted to you makes you feel good and maybe the lady has a spiritual connection to you but no matter how you dress it up or use words like integrity this is a plaster on a serious wound
I would advise you step back from your sitch and take stock Your W is wayward and wayward people do not change in a short time frame Your R with OW might have caught her attention and maybe raised some jealous emotions but does your W fear losing you ? Really or is this just a human reaction ?
Because of your history with cults I worry that you don't value yourself enough and your quest for validation drives you in directions that maybe a more grounded person wouldn't go. I feel you would be great at giving advice but not so great at taking it
IMHO you need to really respect yourself and accept that you have your flaws just like the rest of us Your quest for answers seems to blind you to answers maybe you don't really want
Your sitch is really tough , you've been rejected and betrayed and those are very hard to accept and then deal with , I'm struggling with it daily
Re OW , step back , look at it as if it were someone else. OW is a friend of W , a parent to your child's classmate and she's aware of your sitch Does she not see her involvement in your life , right now , is not healthy ? I don't know this person but looking for the outside , I fail to see how she thinks involving her self in any aspect of your life , right now , will be a good thing in the long run
JGuy. All the above is my humble opinion. I've posted before that I'm far from perfect , I have however dealt with lots of people in my life and I've come accross people who think similar to how you appear in your posts. You don't like criticism , you take offence really easily and you are able to justify things to yourself while knowing inside that maybe the justification is not quite valid
As always I want Jguy to be happy and content in the long term. Short term I would like Jguy to give himself time to let his feelings stettle and not react from every emotion that he experiences
