Now, the real work begins..Part II

[broke]

Thanks for checking in G8r, ATPeace, Thornton and Hope.

Just finished dinner with my BIL. He brought my nephew, too, who I adore. Dinner went well. I was light and breezy. No conversation about my H or my M. My BIL did tell me I looked great which was nice of him (contacts and new highlights helped). Glad there was no drama and it's over.

Feeling a little like Hope - while I can pat myself on the back about sticking to the DB plan - detaching, 180's and GALing, I still feel like what good is it doing?! I miss my H but he doesn't seem to miss me. I know I'm supposed to focus on the journey for me. And I do feel better about me, how much stronger I'm getting and sticking to my DB plan. Just feeling a little low - 4 days with NC. I can't imagine a month Thornton! I would've thought he would contact me - he doesn't have many close friends and he hates to be lonely. But nothing. Radio silence. Must be chatting with OW. Ugh.

Anyway, when he picks up kids tomorrow, I'll be out GALing at the golf course with friends. Hope everyone is doing well. I really appreciate the support about dinner with the BIL.

[Thornton]

Great job, Broke! You did it! I'm proud of you!

You conquered your fear and that's a big deal.

Don't sweat the NC. It's all a part of the process. H needs to miss you and feel your absence, keep going. No pursuit.

[broke]

I'm not sure he will ever miss me with the OW in the picture. Seems impossible to compete with that addiction. Infatuation is stronger than 25 years together and a family. Sometimes I think all this is futile. Sorry - pity party tonight. I will be fine tomorrow with sun, nice weather and golf.

[Thornton]

Well it won't last. And he better hope and pray you're still around when it does end. Because you're going to make some other man a very lucky guy.

[broke]

Thanks, Thornton. I wish I was ready to drop the rope. After more than 7 months of this, I'm so very, very tired.

[Thornton]

I hear you. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You'll get there.

Have you watched any of the TED talks on YouTube? I just started and there are some really good ones.

[broke]

I'm not sure what TED talks are....I'll take a look. Thx for all the support, Thornton.

[Thornton]

Google TED talks about happiness. Really cool stuff, I've heard of TED talks but never checked them out.

[TimR]

Hang in there broke. You continue to grow and improve for you. If H doesn't get his head out of his a$$ then trust me some better guy is going to come along and sweep you up! Might not be what you want now but might be something vastly better!

[broke]

Thanks, Tim. Journey just seems too long and daunting tonight. Thinking it may be too little too late. Appreciate the kind words. I'll snap out of it by tomorrow. And I know not to do anything stupid like contact him :-). Good luck tomorrow!!!