Nothing much to add, it was a conversation that achieved little for me, I am no further forward. Hopefully its not the same for him.
Thinking about it overnight, I see that the fears he has may hold him from ever moving forward with us, I am not sure how long he needs to see that this is me and I am here to stay to be comfortable, he may never be convinced. I can see why many give up at this point, its painstakingly frustrating and very tiring on the emotions because no matter how detached you think you are, your not detached enough !!
job, you say this is common, that its something a mlcer goes through, the doubts and fears; do they generally get past them to acceptance, or once the fears are there do they get stuck in a loop ? I know I can only do what I am doing, but I do feel sometimes I am having to sell myself and honestly, if he wants a guarantee he should go buy something from a store - I don't come with a refund policy or a lifetime warranty and I wonder if this is an area he will remain unconvinced in.
I realise that I am still free to do as I please. My holiday has allowed me well needed down time from work to reassess and reflect on what I want to do for the immediate future as its obvious that any thoughts of me and h is off the table, so I am thinking of something to change things up, get me out of this funk - I am lucky, I have no commitments, no little ones, no home to keep me in one place, so why not think of doing something else, getting me out of I job I dont like and is affecting my health, moving me along in my own growth, doing something for me. Don't know what it is yet - June is still my goal time, I have made a chart and stuck it on my fridge - its 13 weeks to June, 13 weeks to save, decide, make something happen .......???? slight hitch is that I don't know what yet, but I figure it can''t be worse than my current sitch !!
Thanks for reading and supporting, you are all my rocks, my safe place and I am grateful to you all.
