However, you and your M may mean more to him than you realize. You cannot speculate (yeah like its that easy!) and trust in the process. If you are on the back of his mind, then at least you are on his mind, right. You may not be in contact but at least he is not yelling and screaming at you like my M. At least there isn't that contempt for your very being. And the back of his mind is only a short distance from the front.
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
TimR, I got caught up on your sitch last night and I'm so sorry your W is behaving that way. It's almost as if she is realizing what she has done, is mad at herself and taking it out on you. Maybe that's what my H is doing but his anger at himself turns into stonewalling me. But you seem unshakeable and I think you're handling it pretty well. But I'm no vet by any means. And sometimes, I do wish he would at least be vocal about his anger to me so I could get some insight into what he's thinking. I have no clue what's going on his head. He doesn't say anything about it. He's all business with me.
Tonight, I'd normally be trying out a new recipe or making H's favorite cookies. I wanted to go out but I need to meet more friends b/c all of my friends are H's friends. Well, I don't know about that anymore. I was debating going to one of the local watering holes but don't know if that's such a good idea b/c when I go by myself, I drink, talk to random men about my sitch, they "allow me to vent" (read: try to take advantage of my situation), and then I end up going home still feeling lonely but with no one to laugh with. Don't feel like doing much of anything but I NEED to interact with someone. I'm going stir crazy in this apartment.
On the plus side, I just ordered a delicious pizza and very much looking forward to eating it - although it's from one of me and H's favorite spots.
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
We are a lot alike, Hope. Most of my friends were W's friends.
I'm not very social but you would never know it because I can easily talk to people but I prefer to not be the center of attention.
Part of what makes things hard for me is W is very social. So she has a big support network. She goes out with all kinds of people and makes friends very easily. Me, not so much.
I totally understand feeling stuck at your apartment but I think it's wise to steer clear of the bars and the predators for now.
I've been told the fastest way through this mess is to allow yourself to feel it. My IC said to make friends with my pain. The more you feel it, the faster it loosens its grip on you.
Pizza sounds good! Save me a slice, and not the one with hardly any toppings!
Have you thought about a support group or joining an activity? We just moved here a year ago, so most of my friends are 3 hours away. I'm going to divorcecare and joined a beginners ladies golf league. It's helped a lot. I agree with Thornton. I'd skip the bar scene unless you have "wingmen" :-). Enjoy your pizza and good decision not to contact the H.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
Yes, I looked into a divorcecare support group, I've been thinking about it. I've thought about volunteering somewhere next weekend also. GuessI'm just missing my old life. That connection, the laughter, feeling accepted, supported, not having to pretend.
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
