TimR... I don't even know what defines strength anymore. Am I waiting around miserable simply because I am afraid of moving on and being unfair to myself? Or am I making right decision "leaving no stone unturned" to save my marriage?
If I knew there was any infidelity I honestly would have moved on and would have done everything in my power to make him suffer (I would make a great scorned woman). The only thing that keeps me in this state is that I recognize that I was less then perfect during our marriage and because I suspect husband his undergoing a mental crisis that I feel like I contributed to. I have no proof of affair, and believe him (sometimes) because of how he responds, his personality and because of some of his physical issues. The only doubt I have usually comes because of how rare it is.
I will have to soon evaluate whether I want to continue this. 3 more weeks I am giving him and myself before i I need to make this decision. By waiting, my career and financials are on serious hold and because I can't go too much longer in current situation (I am living with parents..this is torture.) It's really not fair to me.
Right now I am mentally trying to detach.
i really do need to get some type of counseling. I suspect the counseling will probably focus on helping me to move forward a opposed to helping me stay in marriage. I have been basically relying on these boards for all of my support, except for the few DB coach sessions. I have always been afraid of meds.
GAL helps so much, it's just so limited for me. I need something social to look forward to but have limited time, and babysitting.
Current peeve...husband texted a few times asking how kids and I are. I respond back and then no response... WTF? My guess is he does not want to lead me on. Only reason for that is that he does not want reconciliation. So why not file or discuss moving on with me??? Clearly he financially benefits from keeping limbo going and stringing me along. I strongly suspect this. any thoughts?
