Mut, I will confuse you all right! I apparently have great abilities to destroy men and their mothers, so anonymity is a good choice.
You are so sweet and I have felt a connection with you as well. Your kindness, humility, sense of duty and commitment are all very attractive qualities. I have often said that you remind me in some ways of my H, the H before he cracked up. (I know, not a very loving way to put it.) And that is also why I worry about you, because in my H's case I believe he sunk into a very lonely and depressive place.
I am glad you have this place, its a safe place to connect and get the support you need. I wish for you to be able to take a little risk though, let some fun and laughter in and be open to the full range of experience that life has to offer. I am not encouraging you to cheat on your w in any way, or to enter into a relationship that you might feel is going to cause confusion. But please take care to not isolate yourself.
I, too am committed to my marriage, and have recently had a connection with someone that started to become intense. I also understand myself better now from this experience and have grown from this experience and am using it as a lesson in boundaries. No more drinking in hot tubs with men who aren't my h! (just kidding. Of course I will drink in hot tubs with men. Just kidding again.) Men and women can be friends. But yes, there needs to be boundaries. I respect yours and I understand.
You are awesome Mutatio. You are one of the people here who have been my "rock" and I will always be thankful for that. I will come and visit you here on DB. I will not track you down and grab your ass. I promise. Not today at least.
As you know I am climbing out of my hole again this week, and you have been one of the people who helped me with that. It is nice to know that you are out there, nice to know someone thinks of me with kindness, and that you think of me when you see the hot air balloons on the horizon.
I hope you have a great weekend, Mut, hope you have a little noise in your life and some laughter and connection with people who want to be with you, in a way that you are comfortable with. Peace and friendship always, Mu. You are awesome.
