H wanted to talk about us. I just got back from a dr appt. It was over the phone.
He went on a vent. He is upset I no longer go too him for things. My faucets broke...my friends husband helped me. My tire pops. I handle it myself etc etc.
He said he is very confused right now about 4 times.
That everyday he doesnt know what redhe will get.. Pissy, mean, loving, sad, ignoring. He said even if He calls or texts he can tell my mood. Example if I ignore him all day I'm pissy and mad but if I answer and do no want to talk to him Im sneaky etc.
He is always here for me and wants me to go to him for things. He wants to take care of me.
I just told him the truth for the fist time. That He lost the husband roll. If stuff breaks in the house and I can not fix it, I'll tell him.
If he wants to talk about the kids, we can talk all day.
That he needs to understand he cant expect me to act like a normal happy loving wife when he fired me. If I need space, stay out of my bubble. If I do not want to talk them let me be.
I told him if we didnt have kids I would have treated him like any other ex.
He knows how I treat my exs. Ex friends..ex boyfriends..you are invisible to me . I'll block, delete, ignore you. I literally will walk by you and pretend you are invisible. Full 100% NO CONTACT for months. It is the only way I heal.
He was very sad sounding. I ended it work I need to go clean.
When he got here he Came into my room. I was watching tv. He asked for a hug. I said no. He pouted and then leaned over and put his face against mine and have me some awkward hug thing.
I left for errands like you guys suggested.
Came back 15 minutes before He needed to leave.
He got ready to leave and was checking me out. Like obviously doing it. He said to turn around..I'm like id there something on me?
Nope he asked if I'm eating. He said I looked really tiny and really good. He finally noticed I lost almost 40 lbs.
He asked me to walk over to him for a second since I was in the kitchen. He moved my hair off my shoulder, and asked for a hug. Said He needed one.
First time giving him a hug In a week since finding out about the ow. I was going for a pat on the back hug but that didn't happen.
He pulled in me super tight, lifted me up, wrapped my legs around him, put his head on my shoulder next and crushed me hugging me so tight. I moved my legs and was like putme down. I was dangling..it was not comfortable. I had to put mylegs back. I'm like really. The kids came out and saw and was like ooooh daddy and mommy and so cute. He put me down after about 2-3 minutes. He Said that I smelled amazing.
I'm wearing the same perfume I have for over a year
He is 6-2" 230-240 muscular officer. Man has a grip.
I could tell that knowing I was done and walking away was really bothering him. I also know it isnt because he loves me but because he just wants to control the situation.
Normally stuff like this would make me melt and feel hope.
Thanks to you guys on here I literally just see it as his way of trying to control me or the situation. He knows how to make me feel loved and wanted.
I was expecting this from Vs love cycle. He would either be loving or angry.
He called at 10 pm since he was not with her totalk about the kids. Same talk we had earlier..he asked random questions. I know He wanted to see what I was doing without askingand using the kids as am excuse.
I'm proud of myself. I feel very detached. Very logical in my thinking. Not using my emotions. Seeing thumbs clear.
I do Not want to have weird situations in front of my kids..so I'm Just going to have to be like no hug.high five!!
Only thing that confused me is why he kept saying hes so confused. How can he be when every decisions he had made himself.
Today I'm packed and have a note ready. Dinner is prepped and all he had to do is follow directions.
He can't cook. I have chopped onion and pepper in a bag. Thawed ground beef. And directions for spaghetti.. Meatloaf..or chili. Like put bags in pan and cook, add 2 cans a with a can of b. Use seasoning packet. Super easy.
Note has any thing he can ask. Pajamas in room. This here. That there. Etc.
Need to go back into my bubble.
I'm not telling him I have divorce papers almost filed out. I am keeping a lot to myself right now.
I am sticking to my plan.
I figured you guys might have some insight on yesterday. Or at least vent.
Can't tell anyone how he picked me up to hug me. I know they all would say I should have flipped out but I'm not going to do that in front of my toddlers.
