Beginning of the End

[TimR]

So that was the that. He said she told him I could take him to a birthday party. I text her to ask if that was ok and she said yeah.

A few hours later she text me and about tomorrow and I said I talk to S and he said he would rather not do the clinic. So I just needed to know about what time to pick him up for weigh ins. She said it was ok they could just do his birthday next weekend and not do a tournament. I said we could skip next weekend's tournament but we were not going to do the clinic that it was ok. She was completely fine.

Then she started texting again about how she just needs to get me away from him for her sake. I said it would kill him. And she kept giving reasons why she cant stand me and needs to keep him away from me. I said it is not about us and S should not suffer cause of our problems.

So I am definitely filing for custody on Monday. It may kill and hope in my M but S is more important.

[broke]

Tim,

I have to say I was really worried when you sent that last text. But, based on what you wrote above, that went better than I thought it would. I think you did some validating, acted as if, set some boundaries and you got to take S13 to practice. I know a DB vet can weigh in with some improvements but I think there were some positives. And your WAS sounds like she is very confused. The fact she wants her rings is very interesting. Anyway, I'm glad that S13 got to go to practice and you still were able to take him and be part of it. Fingers crossed that your W realizes how good you are for her boys.

[broke]

Ok, scratch what I just wrote. We cross-posted. So sorry. I still say you have 2 days to make decision about filing for custody. Let's see if she calms down. No more texts! Let her have some time and space. Hopefully, she realizes how devastating it'd be to her boys to lose you. Keep us posted but stop communicating for a while.

[TimR]

Thank you broke. I am not sure I put it in my thread but since I have stopped begging, pleading and crying, she has started threatening about him. It started small at first but became progressively worse. Now she is down right trying to say she is going to rip me out of his life. That is even worse than cheating. She knows it would kill him and that is just not right. I can take the insults and cheating but for her to kill him just to get at me is so incredibly wrong. I cannot stand by and take that chance. If it means there is no chance at R or kills the M, it is still worth it. That kid has been through too much already.

I also think she would. She doesn't care about anyone but herself right now and not even as a mother considering her boys truly shows how deep a hole she has dug.

[TimR]

Now she just told the boys she is getting rid of their dog. I am going up to pick her up.

[broke]

Omg! This sounds just awful. I am so sorry for you and your stepsons. I admire you standing up for your stepson. I'm just shocked that a mom would want to take a good father figure away from her sons. My H threatens about custody when he is angry. But he always calms down. I was hoping she would do the same. I agree - you have to do what's best for S13. I'll hold out hope she has 2 days to come to her senses. Thanks for getting the dog - it's breaking my heart for them. Thinking of you. Keep being you! ((Hugs))

[Thornton]

Tim,

This is too emotionally charged. Get the dog and go radio silent. Please let things cool off. These things turn into a run away train. Take a deep breathe and slow down. I think you are both too fired up right now.

Be the bigger person here and detach.

[TimR]

Thornton, I am trying so hard to detach. In fact I just really feel sad for her, she must be going through hell. But I don't know that there is any other way to address it. Maybe if she will sleep it off but I can't imagine it is going to get better. I will think about filing before Monday but I need to do something soon in order to preserve my rights and the way she is going she might cool down for a week and then be try and do something in the meantime. I will sleep on it though.

You know I read all of Sandi's posts and NEVER did I think it could get this bad!

[TimR]

You know I am almost to the point that I am a bit worried about S safety. She has never hit either one before (I do remember she pinched S13 once when he was really bad) but this is not the same person I married.

[Thornton]

That's why it's important to take some time and space. When things get charged like this, people go insane.