Shes in the middle of affair..Im lost

[mvgfwd2]

Ditto on sandi's rules about wayward W's. Separate your finances and ask her to move out if she is going to continue to disrespect you with an ongoing A. Or you move out if that is a better option for you. When you have children it is normally advised to stay with them but you don't have that so whether you go or she does is really what you feel is best. If you move, make sure you are no longer a party to the current apartment lease.