Remember, her perception is her reality. So whether or not you are guilty of any of this, to her, it feels real.
I would suggest asking her if there is something you can BOTH do to communicate more effectively. Perhaps emailing would be more effective?
My ex-wife and I would send out a weekly email every Sunday night as it pertained to the week ahead for our daughter. We would outline each day. Monday - Parent teacher conference at 3pm. Tuesday - D field trip to the zoo 1pm-3pm Wednesday - D cheerleading practice 4pm-8pm etc etc.
Obviously you need to co-parent because that's what's best for the kids. Approach it from that angle. That you want to do what's best for the kids and you want to co-parent with W.
This was over the top. You are definitely not that awful of a person....you have to remember she has to justify all of her actions. Anything that she can do to prove that she made the "right" decision. Her comment about "time and time again" is her trying to say that this always happens...Thornton is right. It is her perception and you can't change it. It was a really awful situation and I think you tried your best to validate (I can't do it yet either), offer solutions and stopped communication when you should. What else could you do? I hope some veterans will weigh in on how to validate in this type of "pressure cooker" - it was learning under fire and I commend you for not letting your emotions get the best of you and not fighting back.
I do LOVE Thornton's idea about the weekly email. Maybe that can be your olive branch to her? I am going to suggest that to my H. It will definitely cut down on miscommunications and ways to interact that aren't healthy (as above).
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
I agree with Thornton. Give her some space and back off. I'm glad that you are an attorney and know your rights to your stepson. I'm hoping it's just an empty threat. I hope she will calm down and know that only hurts your stepson.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
Please tell me, am I crazy. After the text exchange noted above I get the following:
w: "with that being said, I see no end in sight to how you are behaving and treating me and I will not continue to deal with it. S's wrestling is really the only thing that forces me to deal with you and I refuse to keep giving you any power or control over me. Therefore, I think its time to transition him into wrestling elsewhere."
w: "there are other places he can wrestle. Dealing with your behavior and the way you treat me is too much. I keep telling you what upsets me and you keep doing it."
w: "it's all about power and control for you. S is the only way you have to control me and you are doing it as mush as you possibly can. You cannot tell me you didn't notice this clinic would mean I don't really see him on his birthday. Like really Tim, don't play me for a fool bc Im not. You had to realize you were consuming the bulk of his day before I said it."
Does anyone think I am jumping the gun on this. I know once I file it she will file for divorce and M will be over. But I also feel I need to protect my relationship with S. It is bad enough she turned older S against me and told younger S I will disappear like his real dad. I feel like I need to do something. Bad part is it will drag his real dad into the picture who is bad news.
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
I am so, so sorry for you and for her sons. I hate when the kids are put in the middle. Do you think she will calm down? Can you give her a little time before you have to work on getting some formal type of custody?
I am just hopeful she will calm down. Every time my H gets mad at me, he threatens me about custody. Then, he calms down and remembers I am a great mom and he's being unreasonable.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
