Remember, her perception is her reality. So whether or not you are guilty of any of this, to her, it feels real.
I would suggest asking her if there is something you can BOTH do to communicate more effectively. Perhaps emailing would be more effective?
My ex-wife and I would send out a weekly email every Sunday night as it pertained to the week ahead for our daughter. We would outline each day. Monday - Parent teacher conference at 3pm. Tuesday - D field trip to the zoo 1pm-3pm Wednesday - D cheerleading practice 4pm-8pm etc etc.
Obviously you need to co-parent because that's what's best for the kids. Approach it from that angle. That you want to do what's best for the kids and you want to co-parent with W.
