Yes Red, be pleasant, fresh but not anything about him. No games, just you being yourself and let go on the instigation part.
Let him do his thing. Say the bull he likes to say. It does not mess with you anymore because you know why he is doing this. For some reasons it always strikes me that he is looking for your attention, but in anyway, let him be for now.
I like the way you are thinking. Not a needy Red, but the woman that knows what she wants and will do that dance until "SHE" says it is enough.
Remember that you can interact with him when you need to, remember to use that chance to show him you are OK, you are not dying because he isn't there. You do not excuse what he is doing but you respect his choices.
Keep it all together in front of him, make eye contact when possible, if the situation arise give that nice smile without being all smiley fake face. Something only you two know.
And as painter said, go do some errands while he stays with the kids. Look good, confident.
Later you can fall apart and punch the pillow, just remember you won't lose it no matter what. Always think that you can say: "I will think about and in a couple of days I will let you know".
You can do it, you are better then all scam bags in this world. He is a dog and needs that kind of attention right now, but time will tell him what a stink fish he is buying.
