This will sound CRAZY but I'm not giving up on HIM really just the M. If he was to change, go to counseling for stuff, etc then yes I would want him back but I do not see him doing this..and if he does it would have to be him. Nothing I do will ever effect him.
It took me a few days to truly realize that no matter what I do, this is him as a person. I can not change him only accept that, this is who he is.
My door is closed but I have a small window in my door that is open. I know I will always love him even as the father of my children and my first love, my first highschool kiss, my first husband.. 90% of my firsts are with him.
I love you pink. You always make me smile and feel better. Always.
I truly am working on ME to make ME THE BEST MOM, FRIEND,DAUGHTER,SISTER, etc I can be.
I really cried today and forgave the OW. I can't have that hate affecting me. I understand she saw 2 great kids, a nice house,a loving husband who spoils his wife and wanted it. She would tell me she is jealous of my life and I'm so lucky. I understand. I forgive her for coming in between us in hopes of getting my life.
She will never have my life. It was so good because I MADE IT GOOD. I FILLED my house with love, I made it this amazing marriage with my family and kids. She is going to be missing a key component in wanting my life. ME. Which is why it was magical.
Sure they will have a great life and fun but it will never. Ever. Be MY old marriage. She can never replace me.
Before I felt so replaced and now I realized that will. Never. Happen unless I tell myself I have been.
I think these anti- depression, anxiety, whatever they are pills are mellowing me out. I'm more relaxed instead of so stressed.
