Need help. Threading water, must learn to swim.

[G8r]

Thank you Thornton, TimR and broke. I have read the validation cheat sheet and have used it effectively when texting but not as effective when speaking directly. WW also complains that I'm patronizing her when I validate.

Ex. ILYBINILWY and It will never work - I understand that you love me but aren't in love with me. I appreciate that you feel it will never work between us. Respond like that and just that?

Although I leave like that when texting, I think I fail when speaking directly because I throw an occasional "but..." into the conversation. The "but" suggests I'm defending and minimizes the effectiveness of my validation.

Btw, I was reading your page and saw the boundary drafts. Good stuff. I should take my own advice that I quote from Sun Szu's The Art of War, "Failing to prepare is the same as preparing to fail".