Not sure where to stand

[Sparkls]

In honor of Thornton's goals, I sat down between teaching classes today and wrong a list of mine. It ended up being really long. Some are actionable, some aren't. It's a work in progress.
Goals:
1. Match for residency (yay!)
2. Declutter my life, throw out old, unused items (working on this)
3. Less diet soda, more water
4. down 15 more lbs by match day
5. exercise 4-5days/week
6. walk dogs 2times/day weather permitting (already doing this)
7. Play my piano again (have to declutter first to set it up)
8. Read more, social media less (already deleted fb off phone)
9. Write! journal, creative, anything
10. Be happy and do things that make me happy: big part of this is IC and antidepressants.
11. set sleep schedule. No more sleeping till nooon
12. Eat healthy. Right now, eat peroid!
13. Wear real clothes: jeans, nice shirts, jewlery. No more yoga pants and ripped t-shirts and do my makeup just for myself, not for anyone else.
14. Wear my hair down more (getting it done today!)
15. Teeth whitening
16. Never turn down a chance to get out of the house or see friends.

I've realized as the antidepressants really start to kick in just how much of my last few years have been in a fog of symptoms. I thought I was just lazy and slept too much. I didn't realize that my apathy and sleeping 12 hours a day was a symptom of something more. I thought everyone cried at meaningful songs and commercials or at nothing at all.
Even though I'm going through hell right now, physically I feel better than I have in years. Lost 20ish lbs already, have the physical energy to do things. It's really quite amazing. Of course, I"m still devastated and I'm scared and I want my life and boyfriend back but me thinking he was depressed it what caused me to really take a look at myself and realize I wasn't paying attention to the symptoms in myself. And I know my depression was like a third person in our relationship constantly dragging it down. I guess at this point, I just wish he could see that. But I see it and I'm overcoming it, and that feels pretty amazing.