I think her statement of "I'm not attracted to you anymore" is more about her lost feelings of connection to me since we had been doing nothing but fighting and spiting over the past few years. And, for women, if they don't feel a connection for you they'll lose interest in you no matter how good looking you may be physically. I'm doing my best to play it cool, go back to the happy guy I had always been, found some confidence in myself again despite all the turmoil and not showing any upset at missing her no matter how much it hurts. Trying to dress a little more attractively as well and I think the combination has elicited an overall positive reaction from her for sure. Have received a kiss and peck on the cheek here and there. Better than a cold shoulder. That all said, the test will be the next time an issue comes up and how I react to it. Strangely I'm almost looking forward to testing myself as I think she'll be pleasantly surprised - seemed to disarm her the last time I did this.
Assuming we eventually do work through our issues, should I ever expect her to revise her "not attracted to me anymore" statement at some point in the future or just let it go and look for actions (if she starts, kissing or hugging me consistently etc)? I typically have a problem letting things like this slide without being addressed or corrected if things (her feelings) have changed but having this expectation in this case may not be truly important so long as her actions show she cares. Curious as to what you folks think/recommend. I only ask as the statement really hurt me but at the same time she must have been really hurt to have to say in the first place.
The more I converse with all you great folks here the more I realize how much of an idiot I've been in how I've managed my relationship over the years. My W has always had a short temper but with a few of these simple rules and validation techniques I think I could have averted years of problems. We should all be issued a relationship book of rules and techniques on our 15th birthday!
