The start of my happiness 4

[Tyler12]

Alright. I promised MB an update so I'm gonna journal a bit before sleep then hopefully I will be too busy over the weekend to do anymore.

So. Last we left off I was quite pissed about the meet for the boys and the OM being there. Then I kind of went into a self reflection state. Since then I have been focusing on finishing strong at school. I talk to my kids as often as possible although sometimes it feels like not enough.

There have been some interesting dynamics lately. I don't remember posting it so I'll tell the story here or again.

Earlier this week W texted me saying S1 had been sick and crying. Not sleeping for a couple days and was taking him to see the Dr. That she was sick too. And on and on. I chatted a bit and said thanks for telling me. Would you let me known what Dr says. Hope you feel better.

She called later and I was driving so I left it. I get a pic a few minutes later of a bday invite for S3. His first official invite from friends. I waited till I got home. ( it's hard not to respond right away still). I said that's awesome I bet he is excited. Is that why you called.

She said he is and she called about Dr. So she called again and when I answered she asked how I was doing. I said good and ask for the same but it's the first time in months that she has asked how I was. So it almost threw me off. S1 is getting over a cold and teething was the issue. Anyway. So we talked about the boys and I talked to S3 about the party. It was good. I think I go into more detail in brokes thread.

Next morning she texts again asking if I can find the folder for the car for warranty purposes. She had mentioned there was a issue. I looked and it isn't here. I told her that and she in typical WW fashion started to get upset. It's this folder and should be right here. I texted back. I know what it looks like and where it should be, however it isn't.
"Never mind I'm sorry. I'm an idiot it's here". So i agree with the last part, now this time she said sorry, again. She hasn't apologized for anything in months.

I noticed these 2 things and I realize they aren't game changing in any way. and mean nothing. Best case she is possibly getting over some anger, or I have become another person and she is being civil. Either way. I'm all good.

thursday I am asked about any mail for her. I replied nothing addressed to you, I do have a tax reciept for you tho. And I mentioned getting my taxes in after I got my receipts together. And she replied with the location of them, I already had them and let her know and to have a good day.

That Night she texts again. I think S1 hates me and so do neighbours. I chose to ignore this as I was out with friends. The she calls once I am home. I answer and its S3. Wants to say goodnight ( first time since all this started he has wanted to call before bed). So we do and she has some stuff to talk about until I'm sure her phone rang and she had to go. I didn't care I was studying.
Tonight same thing S3 to say goodnight. And she wants to talk again.
I want to mention. Each time we talked Monday Thursday and tonight she has asked if I am still going away for the weekend. To which I reply yes. We talked about me getting te boys next weekend so that is cool and a bit about D12 dance exams next weekend.

That's my week In a nutshell. There was a few trips to the gym and out with friends a few times too.

So it seems like WW is trying to stay in contact and see what I am up to. Using S to have a reason to talk. Maybe I shouldn't be, I am giving her nothing tho. Just the facts and answers. Validation and a courtesy laugh if needed. Other than that I just want to get out of the convo. It feels like in going past detaching and moving on.

I do not want to let someone hurt me like that again. Especially her. Would I give us another shot? Maybe, not in the near future as of right now. She said again and again we both need to find oursleves. Well now I am, I see that it is a long process, and I don't know if I want her part of it until I am happy with myself. By that time who knows.
Anyway have a big day tomorrow. Need sleep. I apologize for the long post. Teaches me for not journaling for a few days.