"She would rather die then stay married to me. She doesn’t love me, how can she work on it? Are you asking us how she can work on it, or is she saying it?" I was quoting her talking to him.
Ok....gottcha.
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Any recommendations on "be mysterious"?
Sure, but the mysterious part comes by you not telling her details. In fact, never lie to her. Whenever you leave to GAL, never tell her what, where, and with whom. As long as you can be reached for emergencies, that's all that matters. All you really need to tell her is that you are going out and don't when you'll be home.
Most men are in such a habit of telling the W every little detail she wants to know, that he fails to realize that once she steps out of the M he no longer has to fill in the details of his activities to her satisfaction.
Go to the library to do your DB posting, or to read your latest book. W: Where are you going? H: To the library? W: But you never go to the library! H: (no response) W: When will you be home? H: Not sure.
Wait until all the kids are in bed and then say you are going out. W: Where are you going? H: Out W: But where? H: Don't know. W: Well, when will you be back home? H: Not sure.
After W goes to bed, get up and leave, drive around and find somewhere that sells individually wrapped ice cream cones/bars. Do not take any back home. W: Where are you going? H: Out W: But where? H: To get an ice cream cone. W: At this time of night? H: (no response) W: Will you be back soon? H: Don't know. W: Well, bring me (or the kids ) back some ice cream, too. (manipulation) H: Don't wait up. W: I thought you were coming back soon!? H: (no response) (H really does go get an ice cream cone, or maybe he changes his mind after he leaves, but he forgets to bring her anything, or perhaps b/c it would have melted by the time he got back to the house).
Have something delivered to your house from the florist or a gift shop addressed only to you, with a card signed "yours truly". W: Something was delivered to the house today.....for you. H: Oh really? What? W: (Pretending she doesn't know.....if it is in a package). H: Well how about that! W: Who is it from? (Pretending she hasn't looked at the card already). H: The card says, "yours truly". (Never looking at her, you give a little grin). W: And who is "yours truly"? H: Hummm? I guess they wanted to be anonymous. W: So, Miss anonymous had it delivered to your house? H: No, "yours truly" had it delivered. (laughs and walks away).
Are you getting the idea? Now, grant you, some men are not comfortable with something like the last example and they will not carry things that far. They say it's being deceitful. So, whatever. Everyone can decide things for themselves.
There are a lot of innocent things to do. But the idea is to leave suddenly, as if in a hurry. Maybe even look at your watch on the way out the door. You can go to the mall, drive around, whatever. If she asks, tell you went to the mall, or whatever. Don't lie. The mysteriousness is in how you act about the whole thing, what time of day or night that you leave, and how vague your answers are, when she gets so nosy. If you aren't comfortable, then forget it. But she will notice, if you do it, and she will start to ask questions.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
) back some ice cream, too. (manipulation)