Thanks for the replies. I'm trying not to get my hopes up or expecting anything but I'm really happy she decided to go to IC.
Bttrfly, that does make sense. I've had a lot of thinking to do this week. I saw a side of her I never have after her last idea, plain nasty, it woke me up.
Hawho, I've been keeping my mouth shut, listening and observing like you said and seeing a lot more of how bad of shape she is in and noticing more teenage antics, responses, etc.
Saturday she was acting weird again, she was hurting really bad with her condition (hunched over shuffling around) but was also outside smoking and on the phone all morning as well as acting more depressed than normal. She was also really set on sending d with s and I to get his hair cut. That night she told me she was going to quit smoking. I told her good for her. She has brought up quitting several times lately. I keep telling her I'm glad for her and I know it is hard, making sure to make it is all about her because she quit smoking for me when we were dating.
Sunday she was set on making sure to take d to a bday party and said she was going to her office while d was there. Later she said it was a stay there party so she didn't go to her office when they got home late. When they got back d came in all excited about eating mcds which we never do (we treat s with diet and w has changed a lot of eating habits since BD). W told me she had another bday party to go to but d told me the next day she just played with some older kids while mom talked to a lady. I wonder if she is putting papers together.
She really has been out of it lately. This weekend she left and I was watching out the window thinking OMG she's going to back out in front of that car, sure enough she did. When she got home she asked if I heard that car honk at her, then said can you believe that?, honking at me leaving my own driveway! It was totally her fault but I said I saw that car coming and it was going too fast, no wonder you didn't see them. A couple other times I've said something to her and she is lost in thought and literally doesn't hear a word or know I'm there. Last night I left to run and get some tea and said I set the timer for a couple minutes, and asked her to check the pizza out when it goes off. I came back to her sitting at the table doing work and dinner burning. She never heard it. However, if there is something I don't want her to remember or anything negative she sure as heck will!
She has also made a few comments about how she is a horrible person a few times over the last week or so. I tell her she's not, that she is a great person and to quit saying that because it's not true. This is garbage her parents told her as a girl and young adult (she has told me awful things they told her).
This week she's left her tablet laying on the counter quite a few times. I wonder if it was by accident of if she was seeing if I will look at it. I know she went through one of my dresser drawers and my ipad history was opened up the other night, sloppy work unless she wants me to know. I'm glad I decided to keep DR in my office! I also noticed she has been leaving her phone on the counter/table facing up the last few days, it's been attached to her and face down since this all began. I wonder if Saturday morning wasn't about OM.
Night before last she was upset about something. I could tell so I asked if she was okay. She said no, then said she was having trouble at work. I asked if I could do anything for her and she said no again but then said thanks. She told me she bought cigarettes again and she felt bad then gave me a guilty look. I told her I wasn't judging and she looked a little relieved. She didn't look good last night (looked very unhappy) but I did notice she's gained some weight so I'm glad she's eating!
Job, thank you for reviving the two older threads this week and the lighthouse post! They were very helpful for me during this stressful week.
