It's baffling to me that he is so pursuing contact.
It isn't when taken in the DV context. Abusers need to have a target. They keep in touch to maintain control. As long as one is within their sphere, they will continue to control and manipulate. Divorce is the ONLY option when faced with real abusive situations.
Otherwise one is never truly free of the abuser AND abuse. It is a horrible and vicious cycle.
Personally, I support Red separating and filing for a D. However, it is IMPERATIVE that she work with the state DV on a safety plan first before taking any of these two steps. This is the MOST dangerous phase for it is when the abuser loses it and actually kills the person. They see and know they're losing CONTROL..which causes them to flip out and actually kill their GFs/wives.
