It's amazing as well how many times we hear the words hang in there. Her family say it to me all the time... I ask them, what am I hanging in there for? They have no answer....
Some people mean it as encouragement and some just don't what to say. When my mother had a stroke, so many people would tell her, "It's going to get better". I noticed it but just took it as their way of trying to help her feel more positive. One day she complained about it, and I realized she wasn't taking it very positively.
I believe when we are struggling with something very serious and we begin to hear the same statement coming from people......almost as if it's an afterthought.....we can be a little sensitive to it. Where I live, when we greet anyone, the next thing out of our mouth is, "How are you"? Recently, I lost my D, and on visitation night (customary where I live) there was a very long line of people who came to show their respect...which meant so much to me. Guess what most of them said as they approached me? "How are you"? I could have replied with, "How do you think I am"? But I've been through enough life, I suppose, and had seen this happen many times. I knew that they were saying it more out of habit or really didn't know what to say. And, most would offer their condolences immediately afterwards. I'm not telling you this to shine the light on myself, but just passing on how I have observed and personally experienced how we all say things occasionally that could be taken the wrong way by the person who is suffering.
So, hang in there.
(Couldn't resist).
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
