Seeing the kids hurting is killing her. We have not talked to them yet, she hasn't wanted to. Fantasy feels good. Reality hurts.
She doesn’t think I support her at all, even with the offer for her to move out take time before moving ahead with divorce. I regret offering that now. WW's b.s.
She would rather die then stay married to me. She doesn’t love me, how can she work on it? Are you asking us how she can work on it, or is she saying it?
The OM tells her maybe she should stay married and try, that people do fall back in love and it would be best for the kids. WTH?? He's trying to get out of hot water and get her to leave him alone, so he's suggesting she goes back from where she came.
She is confused, hurting, and not sure what to do. The pain of being a WW.
OM is working on his own stuff and not coming back anytime soon or at all. Good!
She thinks she is a burden to everybody, we want her to be a Stepford wife. Pity Party!
Nobody supports or understands her, just the OM.
She just wants to get this “Stuff” done ASAP and be over with it.
The kids are the only thing causing her pause, she “doesn’t give an Eff about me”. I only see her as property and she is invisible to me. All her words. WW b.s.
She is tired Pity Party!
She is awoken to true love and can never go back to sleep. Pity Party and Jr. Hi School Drama
She would love to go to his State/Town but can’t with the kids. Pity Party!
She goes on telling the OM how amazing he is, she would do anything in the world for him, blah blah blah. Pity Party!
What worries me the most is her comments, She feels there is not light, no answers, and no way out. She is a burden on everyone. Should I be concerned of her hurting herself? I think it is her being melodramatic, which is pretty common for a WW. She may threaten something with OM, but I wouldn't be too worried about it. Stay aware and if she starts making stronger statements, then you may need to take it more seriously.
Is reality starting to set in? Yes
Is she having second thoughts? Not yet, she's stinging from OM's rejection of her. However, this is good b/c it may prompt her into having second thoughts.
Is she using the kids as an excuse on why she might be having second thoughts? Well, she's made it clear it ain't you. Or Did he back out on her and now she is trying to pursue him? Yep!
What should I do next? Stay as much NC as I can, or work on 180’s? Don't pursue. GAL and be mysterious while she's there. Should I move faster on the divorce stuff? No
I think I am not detaching well!! Help!! Read the detaching page (did I send it to you) once a day.
I still have not been served and it’s been 2 weeks. Don't worry about it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
