It sounds like you're getting to good place. Yeah, given all that has been said from waw about how bad the M has been and to want to go back to that? Kind of delusional. Hang in there.

Fight the good fight no matter the quality of your opponent.

Me-50 WAW-45
S13
Married 24 years
Bomb 1-Jan.2008
Disc. EA
She came back for 8 years
Bomb 2-Jan-2016
Separation 3-12-2016