Need help. Threading water, must learn to swim.

[Sparkls]

Until recently we actually fought really well if that's a thing. We had a rule that we never went to bed until everyone had their chance to speak. We very seldom went to bed angry. We never slept in seperate beds. We discussed more than fought. Never screamed, never said things just to hurt each other. We started to fight differently recently (probably should have been a clue). He would test me on things. For instance one of the biggest fights we had was over a stupid Xbox controller. He wanted this $150 controller. I thought spending that kind of money was ridiculous and we're kind of tight on it. So he agreed and we agree to discuss it again later once the controller had been out for a while. Seemed like a good compromise (I wanted some reviews to show it was worth the money). The without telling me, he asked everyone to give him money for Xmas for it. I was hurt that after this great compromise, he went behind my back to get what he wanted. We fought about it, j said stupid things like its our Xmas money, not his. And that the controller was a stupid waste of money. He has now taken this fight to be everything wrong with our relationship. He shut down, wouldn't talk about it anymore. Come Jan, the reviews were in, I got my loan money and I felt bad cause I knew I had been kind of ridiculous so I bought him the controller as a surprise present. He took it badly, saying I was just trying to placate him or something.

Basically,
He stopped talking to me when he had a problem with me and started talking to OW who of course encouraged him to leave me.