Hey MB, Sorry your mom can be so tough. Perpetual defensive posture sounds really uncomfortable! Absorbing the unexpected hits is the way to go, I think. My personal favored method is to 1) take a deep breath; 2) smile wide 3) subvocalize "a-hole" 4) exhale.
Alternatively, you could replace step 3 with either compassion (only a person with a lot of gunk inside would act that way), or relief that you are more self-aware and a more centered person.
