Help!

[Vapo]

A MC? No. A good therapist? Yes. It can help and take the edge off and also help you dig at your own issues. Remember, you must fix you first.

Allow yourself time to heal. There are no quick fixes and no shotcuts. Also allow yourself to be angry and from time to time it does a world of good to yell into a pillow or if you go out into the nature and yell some. Also it has been proven that taking a baseball bat to an unsuspecting trashcan can be most beneficial (just make sure it is your own trash can, so you do not get in trouble with the law.

[Vanilla]

I helped my waw move out during our first seperation. I only recommend doing that if you can keep yourself together.

When she finally left after bringing the last load to the car, I fell apart.

I definitely want to avoid that with my WW. I don't think I will fall apart, I will just have Angry Outbursts and be sad afterwards.
What is the DB philosophy on this? I think she wants me to help her with the computers as well, in a Detached mode, should I do so?

Do that which works for you, and if it doesn't change it.

I packed for WH and moved it to storage to prevent him from coming back after he kept collecting his stuff a tea towel at a time.

There is high risk in messing with the computers, so I would leave her to seek a professional. Too many accusations can arise.

If you are going to pay off debts do so through your L and make the cheques out to the credit card company, post it direct and send the receipt. That would be my thoughts.

[CWOL]

A MC? No. A good therapist? Yes. It can help and take the edge off and also help you dig at your own issues. Remember, you must fix you first.

What should I look for in a therapist? I printed out my insurance directory and there are literally hundreds of them ready to take my money...

[Thornton]

CWOL,

It really depends on your issues IMO.

What do you want to work on? And you can't say work on getting my wife back.

Therapy is for you. What do you need to fix? Do you have childhood issues? Trauma? Addictions? Compulsions?

[CWOL]

CWOL,

It really depends on your issues IMO.

What do you want to work on? And you can't say work on getting my wife back.

Therapy is for you. What do you need to fix? Do you have childhood issues? Trauma? Addictions? Compulsions?

I feel terrible. My moods swing constantly. I sleep in chunks of 2-3 hours every night I've lost 20 pounds in a couple months.

[Thornton]

Ok sounds like depression/anxiety.

I would look for a therapist that specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy.

You can also visit with your doctor and ask for anti-depressants. That will help take the edge off. But they take 4-6 weeks to really kick in.

[Vapo]

CWOL,

It really depends on your issues IMO.

What do you want to work on? And you can't say work on getting my wife back.

Therapy is for you. What do you need to fix? Do you have childhood issues? Trauma? Addictions? Compulsions?

I feel terrible. My moods swing constantly. I sleep in chunks of 2-3 hours every night I've lost 20 pounds in a couple months.

SAdly, that is normal. Don't be embarrassed to seek medical help with the mood swings. Things can get overwhelming,believe me, I know. This situation is probably one of the worst situations you will ever encounter.

But the good news is that it will get better, but it does take time. And it is going to take as long as it's going to take... In my case it took 6 months after BD before I started feeling better and another 6 months before I could say I was well.

Physical activity helps, a lot, esp. hiking in nature and in the sun. Also trying new stuff helps, meeting new people helps (not women).

[CWOL]

SAdly, that is normal. Don't be embarrassed to seek medical help with the mood swings. Things can get overwhelming,believe me, I know. This situation is probably one of the worst situations you will ever encounter.
But the good news is that it will get better, but it does take time. And it is going to take as long as it's going to take... In my case it took 6 months after BD before I started feeling better and another 6 months before I could say I was well.

Physical activity helps, a lot, esp. hiking in nature and in the sun. Also trying new stuff helps, meeting new people helps (not women).

I'm just upset that a short conversation with a prospective therapist got me so sad yesterday. What got me was her saying it'll probably take two years for my WW to get OM through her system. Woke up today feeling much better. I just hate these roller coaster rides, ever since I discovered the affair emails.

I help coach my son's baseball team as well so I'll get some exercise in this weekend. Will restart my competitive tennis soon and look into training at a gym.

[Thornton]

Sorry, CWOL.

There are no quick fixes. And when there is a quick fix, you end here again like I did and get to start all over.

Competitive tennis huh? I used to play competitively as well. I can't serve anymore though - rotator cuff...

[G8r]

Hi CWOL. Many therapists specialize in a few areas. Try to figure what your primary issues are and find some matches. You also want to take a look at their degree and their experience. The higher the degree, the more you will pay. Degree can play a really but shouldn't be the deciding factor because there are lots of great therapists with a Masters in Social Work. The therapist's experience also can be a factor depending on your needs. Type of therapy can play a role. Do you want to explore your childhood, examine your thought patterns, focus on behaviors etc... IMO, your comfort level with a therapist specializing in your needs who uses the type of therapy you are most comfortable with is the way to go.

Physical activity is always good supplemental therapy.