It will get easier if you start living your life for you...and i mean you!
You start making changes because that is who you want to be instead of who you think she wants or want you to be.
You start really getting out and galling, new hobbies, new friends, activites, meetups, clubs, teams... new exciting you...do and be instead of hope and dream.
You start focusing on your side of the fence and look at those legitimate issues that you did bring to the game.
You keep on being the best you, you can be and your life will get better. It will be easier for you to live with yourself because you will start liking yourself snf the life you are living SOOOOOOOOOOOO much more.
I promise, if you let her go and i mean stop holding on so tight, and live for you, it will get easier. Period!
