I Think it's Way Too Late

[1313]

Hi Tim, well - one day at a time - what can I say?
Thanks for asking. I hope you're doing well.

It seems time is going waaay too fast. By the time I get my Mom all sorted out etc. it's already late. I didn't sleep at all last night, and suddenly at around 8:30 I couldn't stay awake, so I took a nap. Ugh.

Deciding I'd try to disappear into my art piece today I ran to the store around 10 to grab some coffee and stuff. I'm still in a total fog when I'm wandering around - it's so weird how your body and brain react to something like this. I've always felt terrible for guys who've had this happen (too many) to them, but now I can really empathize.

So, I'm walking through TJ's (the market) looking for something they used to have but apparently don't any longer. As I walked back down the isle to go to checkout, I looked over to the corner (flower section) and there is one of the W's friends, the one who I believe was a huge enabler for this whole thing. 2 months ago I would have said hi "name"! and gone over and talked with her. I know she saw me as she had a perfect view to the back of the store from this location.

I was wishing I didn't look so zoned out, honestly I look like #%&*. I since all I had to do was turn the corner to have my back turned to her I did, and made my way to the register as far on the other side as I could - which was the express lane. I tried to act as perky as possible, and got out of there.

One of the things you don't think about until you're doing it. I've already stopped shopping at the market I used to go to, partly because it's further away and partly because I don't want to bump into anybody I know, especially the W.

Part of me wishes I had gone over and said something to her, but I don't know what it would have been other than "thanks for letting W and OM meet at your place and never saying anything to me". And really, I'm not so morally bankrupt that if even a good friend of mine was doing something like this - I wouldn't allow them to carry on an affair or help facilitate a meeting spot for them. And, I'd have a serious talk with them as well.

I'm sorry I did design work for them for free - just because they were friends. When I think about it - I've done an awful lot of things for "friends". Where are they now? Don't answer that!

Anyway, I just thought I'd check in so you guys didn't think I was swinging by the rafters in the garage or something.