I accused the wife of the same, guys. Said she wasn't trying at all b/c we had been in MC for a few months and things were still going downhill.
Her reply: "How can I not be trying?! I don't have a desire to be here (with you), but I am staying! I am on 3 medications to help me not 'feel'! (her anti-depressants). How can you say I'm not trying?!!" I'm the one who is 'wrong', so I need all the help! Me! I'm the problem...and I'm trying! I don't want to feel the way I do, but I can't help it. It is how I feel and I shouldn't feel bad about that!"
What she said has some truth to it. She can not FEEL anything and she needs to blame that on someone. Cause it can not possibly be her fault. (and in a way it is not her fault) So she picks the closest person to herself to blame - YOU!
In reality the depression and hormones are causing this, so it is not her fault or YOUR fault. She must decide that she wants to get better. You can not talk her into it. Neither can a counselor.
This is why "Letting GO" is the best path. I know it is hard however it is the only path.
