Is it a widely held belief that this transparency is a 'norm'?
Do you mean in relationship to reconciling? As far as I know, it is pretty much the norm. That doesn't mean everyone does it, but they do agree it should be done when there was an affair.
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My wife has always had 'privacy' issues. Early in our marriage it was an issue b/c I would talk about our finances, her work or school stuff, to my family (and sometimes my best friend) and it would infuriate her. H
Same here, only I had nothing to hide until I had an Internet A. However, I never appreciated everyone in the family knowing my business.
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Her family was extremely private about that kind of stuff and she says it makes her feel that I am messing with her security.
Again, I understand to a point about privacy. I don't know what she means by messing with her security. Kind of sounds to me like WW b.s., but that's just my opinion. It's one thing for a person not wanting everyone to know about their personal stuff, but quite another for one spouse not wanting the other spouse to know. My theory is if you don't want your spouse to see, you must be hiding something. Why else would it matter, if you don't have secrets from each other? And, how could it affect her security, unless it was something like an affair? Just saying.....
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
