So, if he isn't talking to ow any more, am I still supposed to stay NC with him? Would it be bad if I went to see him or talked to him now? It wouldn't be pushing him toward ow if she's not around. But, would it still push him away? I still can't get past thinking that he's going to blame it all on me though. If that's the case, he may never want to talk to me.
I already know my thoughts on this, and the thoughts of my friends. I was hoping to get opinions or advice from others to see what you guys think.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Thornton, I agree...those expectations are horrible! They give you false hope only to then be ripped away. So painful. I'm sorry that happened to you yesterday. I have had that feeling more than once and it's miserable. I hope you're feeling better today.
I had already read your thread before posting. I think it's great that you're setting goals and working on being a stronger person. I'm not so sure I'd go jump out of an airplane though. . You're doing a great job, keep it up!
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Because I have zero confidence that it will happen. Even if he WANTED to, I think his controlling ways would stop him from doing so. I know it seems like I'm mindreading, but that has always been my experience with him. Would it be a bad idea to contact him now?
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
MB, my IC suggested I go sit in a coffee shop with my iPad or on a park bench or somewhere in nature rather than staying in my little green room too much. I think that's a good idea. I'll sit there with a smile on my face and take the occasional phone call and who knows, maybe W will hear I'm doing just fine!
Take those line dancing classes. Then when I come for a visit we can go out and shake our booties! NYGal is an accomplished Country Western dancer!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
MB is NOT a dancer. Would love to learn though. I tend to step on people when I'm out there. It's not pretty!
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Even if he WANTED to, I think his controlling ways would stop him from doing so.
Who is he controlling and how would that stop him from going to see you, if he really wanted?
You are pursuing him. Leave him alone, especially if he has been back & forth with this OW. Let him make up his mind without you chasing him, then if you still want him you'll know you didn't have to pressure him.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hi mb I've been taking a time out and focusing on work
I've got to agree with the others that you need to maintain no contact for your own wellbeing The reality is if he wanted to reach out to you he will and if you initiate you will appear to be pursuing and could make things worse Your not to blame for anything that happens in his life you got 'sacked' for want of a better word Focus on you keep at IC and detaching
One of the things I'm working on with my IC is learning to say no to things that will cause me anxiety and stress and that I don't need to fix everything. It's ok to validate and listen and realise that people need to fix their own problems and not let it drag me down
Keep posting and having faith in yourself we are all good people who are learning and growing and taking responsibility for our actions and mistakes. I don't see anyone here re writing marriage history or blaming their spouse.
I hope to hear your out having fun and getting better let's see that smile light up the world!
If it didn't cost me a fortune to fly out to you guys I would be in for dancing. I also can 2 step and I would be happy to twirl you ladies around the dance floor. Let a country boy show you off.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
. You're doing a great job, keep it up!