Wow, mind is blown 13

[Thornton]

Yeah, try not to make yourself crazy, Uphill.

Keep an eye on her actions, not what she's telling you. Consistant actions from her are what you want to see.

[Uphill]

Defiantly watching every move. So far, so good there... It has just been a weird few weeks, and it continues to get weirder! Nothing else happened since what I have already explained but I am watching for the next curve ball!

I can't wrap my head around his motivation to call me. I think that's the thing right now taking up way too much headspace. If I were in his shoes, I would be looking for a cave in the mountains to hide in. Not putting myself out there thinking we could be cool? I made it clear that will never be the case, that I have forgiven lots of people in my life. I've also been forgiven for things I have done. But something like that isn't gonna just disappear. A phone call doesn't make it ok. I know this part isn't DB approved but I left him know that if I wouldn't have my son to take care of, he would have had some free plastic surgury on his face compliments of yours truly haha

[Thornton]

Yeah, you're paranoid you're going to let your guard down and get blindsided.

Let her prove herself. Consistent actions. Easy does it..

[TimR]

I agree with the above. I would throw in that while this was going on, he may have seen her come closer to him when reacting to something you have done. So he may have called to get a reaction from you. Be careful.

OM, or trailer park boy, as I refer to him sent me a friend request on FB a while back. I really had to debate what to do. My original reaction was to invite him to a get together and the disappear him. When I calmed to down I just declined and blocked him. The next day the man of the family he lives with (yeah he is 38 and does not even have his own place) contacted me. He tried to be threatening and I did react a bit but then shut him down too. While I will never know for sure, IMO this contact was to get a reaction out of me. I have not told my WW about it, because I believe that is what they wanted me to do.

[Uphill]

If that's what it was about, he saw all the reaction he's gonna get. Just made my stance clear and will be telling nobody I personally know about it. I'm curious also if she brings up what she sent him? I won't be letting on that I know anything of it.

[Uphill]

If he wanted me to run to her and tell her that the low life called me that's not gonna happen. If she finds that out it is a way I will know that the contact didn't stop...

[Uphill]

Well, I'll just say the no contact was due to my stipulation. I've just spent the last 3 hours on the phone with XF. Mainly listening while she was telling me different steps she has taken over the past few days/weeks. I heard a lot of things about how it happened with OM that I didn't care to hear but had to be talked about at some point. As long as it is all truth, I got many answers for unanswered question I had for months.

Ball is in my court as of the point I hung the phone up....to start trying to piece or cut my losses. That is the question which is gonna make this a sleepless night.

[Thornton]

How do you feel about her responses?

Does she seem genuine?

What stuff has she owned as to the breakdown of your R?

No need to rush a decision. In fact, I wouldn't take her back too quickly. You are the prize now, Uphill.

[Uphill]

Well to keep it as an annonomous as possible on the details. She cried for about half of the convo while pointing out her own faults. Where she went wrong and why she kept digging herself deeper. Knowing her for as long as I do, if there were tears, it's genuine. She doesn't open up as deep as she did. And especially doesn't cry for nothing. The responses were mixed. I can't sit here and say I liked everything I heard, but who is gonna when dealing with the topic of an outsider in you family?

She was like an open book after the convo was started. If I asked a question, it was answered immediately without thinking. Some of the things I didn't want to hear were actually because I asked questions knowing I wasn't gonna like the answer but had to hear it for a piece of mind.

I also asked why I would trust that this wouldn't happen again. Her response was to start hysterically crying and said "I have wanted this to happen since a week after I left but I didn't know how to change course. I was on a highway to hell with way too much momentum."

I have a lot to process in my mind.

[Thornton]

That's a lot to digest, my friend.

Take your time with it. Allow things to settle in your mind so you can reconcile them.

Again, I don't think you should make it too easy for her. I think I did that when I started piecing with WAW.

I was so happy to be back with her that I think I swept a lot of stuff under the rug. I just wanted to forget it ever happened.

Look where it got me.