What the heck is this?

[2Times2Many]

Oh my gosh, mleigh4! I can't tell you how much I needed to hear what you wrote in your post. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I let my focus turn from me and being/becoming the person I want to be to h and the the painful things he is doing that I have absolutely no control over. My brain really was scrambled. You unscrambled it for me.

Your post took me back to the two things that I try (not always successfully obviously) to keep in the back of my mind: That I can change the way I feel about things by changing the way I think about them (I hear my IC right now) and something I read on a post a while ago ... Can I live with it and is it the right thing to do?

I am not at all a mean or vengeful person ... never have been ... and certainly don't want to become one now. My thinking, my anger, my "woe is me" attitude was leading me in that direction and I certainly don't want to go there!

You are 100% correct. Regardless of the direction this journey leads me, I want to know that I handled it with grace, kindness and dignity.

Thank you so much, mleigh4, for picking up the 2x4 and knocking some sense back into me! I needed it.