NYGal common last name is on FB, with just a few New friends. NG I'm encouraged by your feeling that some day I might have a shot at piecing. Right now W and I are not communicating, at my request. I'm very distressed that she is complying! These days I'm struggling to just get by, because I'm so tired of this now 4 months long roller coaster ride. I called in sick this morning after a restless night of nightmares and visions of them together. I tried everything to STOP the awful thoughts, except Benadryl, which I don't want to become a habit. In one of the nightmares I think ow actually was banished, but any dream with her in it is a nightmare!
So to sign in and see your note was very encouraging. Thank you!
Last night I shared all my insights on being a better partner with a friend. She said, does W know all this? She thought if I just told W that, she'd come running to my side. I had to say, no, now isn't the time while she's still in the affair fog or still "messed up" as W said, or wherever she is now. My friend is currently being pursued by her X partner. They split a year and a half ago. I tearfully (with people in this bar watching the whole process) held her hand and told her with great sincerity and intensity to give XP a chance! That maybe she has learned something from their separation, and that this could indeed be the love of her life. I'm a big advocate for working things out, as you can imagine, and I just wish someone would have the same conversation with W one day soon! All too often friends just say, we want you to be happy. But my friends who married and had in their wedding ceremony a promise from everyone gathered there that we would all support them as a couple in time of need -- it was profound to be reminded of that recently. That friend has vowed to do the same for me and W. But fate stepped in and their lunch had to be rescheduled. Maybe fate is on my side and the timing will be better later.
The real reason I believe we might have a chance someday is that W has repeatedly mentioned friends who have split up and gotten back together. I see that as cake eating on her part, but I also have some hope that she really is trying to figure herself out, and can't come back until she has. We were so good together, so right for each other. This is all so wrong.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
