Hi Vanilla and thanks for your feedback and validation explanations. To be honest, I didn't know what to say when my W told me she wasn't attracted to me anymore. I think I simply said that it hurts to hear her say that. I know I didn't validate her statement but I was feeling pretty emotional when she said that to me so it was the best I could do at the time.
We had a little tiff yesterday over some banking and bills. She gets frustrated that I'm not up to speed with our accounts - she manages the bills day to day. It's something I'm going to take over (and she wants me to) but I just don't have any time to do it right now between full time work, two kids in competitive hockey (I coach one of the teams), trying to study for this exam (which has not been going well with all of this stress going on - I'm not sleeping) and other obligations. We pretty much avoided each other yesterday but we are talking today - which I initiated. I should probably just tell her I understand her frustration around the bills. It's just hard right now, she has way more free time than I do. She slept in again this morning and has now gone out to a yoga class. I'm getting the kids up, dressed, fed and dropped to school to come back home and dial into work. To be honest though, I think the bills are one big pain point for my W and something I just need to take over asap - whether I have time to do it or not. I do all of the tax prep these days for our accountants but the week to week bills stresses her out.
Our next joint MC session isn't until the end of next week so feels like it's dragging on (hard to get an appointment with this counselor). I'm having a hard time staying positive. My W seems to sleep fine - it's as if she isn't worried about our relationship where I'm slowly turning into a wreck. And I get worse when I don't get sleep which is happening more and more. What should I be doing with my W between now and our next MC session? I'm still not pursuing and as much as I feel like putting my arm around her and kissing her I feel pretty sure I'd either be pushed away or if not she would just allow me to kiss her with her wall still up and the possibility of that rejection scares me. I'm just not sure what to do and how to behave right now. This sleep deprivation is not helping.
